bewilderbrain

In a world of chaos and obstacles, it’s time for a little holiday on the bright side of ADHD…A joyful torch in the dark for grey days…

Inspiring, comical, enigmatic, loving, determined….how do we describe our ADHD traits to others?

Not usually like this.

No two ADHD brains are the same, we know this by now.

But we have all experienced negativity in life, and most of us struggle not to criticise or rebuke ourselves for our perceived deficits.

Embarrassment, lack of confidence, low self-esteem, fear of failure, fear of rejection –

Just some of the gamut of unwanted gifts that are developed when a unique brain is misunderstood, and not allowed space to breathe in its own way.

They hold us back.

They dampen our brains potential, our recognition of it, and our ability to unleash the best parts of our wild beast brains to the world.

People with ADHD need to be reminded of their magnificence, just the way they are…

This is a declaration.

A proclamation of unique brilliance, unrivalled spirit and resilience.

These are the reasons to love someone with ADHD, and the reasons you should love yourself…

When life is hard, and the world feels too much, this is the reminder you must have to bounce you off rock bottom. Or off your own bottom.

A giant cup of tea with a football pitch sized slice of cake that gives you permission to feel better. To celebrate being you.

1. Passion – ADHD brains and the power of hyperfocus are mighty forces to be reckoned with…

We talk a lot about the issues those with ADHD face in navigating life. They are real, complex, and often mighty.

Let us not forget though, the ADHD brain is itself a mighty beast of a thing.

Its driving is often errant, it is sometimes parked on a verge without remembering why it has stopped, and it doesn’t really understand road signs or roundabouts.

But….when it sets its sights on a destination, it has the drive of a jet engine powered by Sonic the Hedgehog.

Our all or nothing mentalities can make a lot of things difficult. But when we turn on the “All” setting, our passion and hyperfocus will ride straight through obstacles that neurotypical brains are just tapping at.

We have trouble getting stuff done, but when we DO do stuff (ha-ha I said “do do”) We can do it swiftly, efficiently, exceptionally.

And probably having invented several new things along the way.

2. Intelligence. Yes, that’s right. ADHD brains are differently clever…

People with ADHD come in a wide variety of intelligence levels, just like the general population.

Apparently though, those with ADHD have an IQ registering an average of 9 points below the rest.

Okay, you going to trust standardised test measures for a brain that works completely differently in the first place?

Nah, not me old chap.

IQ may not be a subjective measure, but intelligence certainly is.

People with ADHD can sometimes be catastrophically bad at for example, common sense, logic, maths, maybe have issues with reading or writing.

Many of these same people have other areas of function that are ten times that of their peers.

And what of emotional intelligence? instinct? intuition? Areas where we seemed to be tuned to an altogether higher frequency.

Comparisons have been made between autistic and ADHD brains and Neanderthal ones, in part, because of our heightened responses and awareness of threats, and our drives being less filtered – more primal.

But who is to say that this doesn’t actually represent a higher evolutionary form?

As our understanding of neurodivergent brains progresses, so too should our understanding of what constitutes intelligence, ability and most of all…value.

People with ADHD can see patterns other miss, connect mental webs to form pictures others can’t see, invent innovative solutions to unsolvable problems, and inspire others with moments of insight and brilliance.

We may have trouble tying our shoes (me, at least) but we ain’t thick.

3. Creativity – ADHD thinking can be creative on a multiversal scale…

One of the reasons we can invent these innovative solutions I mentioned above is our uniquely creative thinking.

ADHD thoughts and emotions follow non-linear pathways, sparking from synapse to synapse across chasms of division few would dare to cross.

Our thoughts jump in instinctive leaps, following hunches, external signals, or those from other parts of the brain.

They seem illogical. Non-sensical. No-through roads.

But our instinct and vision is so strong that these often turn out to be shortcuts to unexpectedly wonderful places.

We follow our whims, our jumping visions, the play of light on a wall, an inspiring connection, and it brings us to new, untold realms.

Often, we don’t create what we set out to create…but we create something brilliant regardless.

We can create worlds between the threads of a conversation, and spin stories from the bones of nothing.

The field of art and music is positively littered with ADHD brains, due to our unique way of seeing the world.

We are drawn to the aesthetic and the beautiful, seeming more affected by their power, and the non-linear movement patterns of our brains can jump, or they can flow, in words, visions or music.

We are tuned to these things in a different way, in sync with them, in a way that we are often not with the rest of the world.

I am lucky enough to know a person with ADHD who had unusual characteristics as a child, and was non-verbal until much later than their peers. This person, in common with many of us, suffers with mental struggles and self-doubt – but they are nothing short of a genius in the field of music, barely having to touch a new instrument before they can play it, and producing melodies from thin air – it runs in their blood.

4. Empathy – and our extraordinary senses – People with ADHD wear their hearts, and souls, on their sleeves…

Despite the afflictions of learned masking, which many of the later diagnosed have succumbed to, people with ADHD are often unable to truly hide their feelings.

A close friend commented with great amusement a few years ago that I wasn’t very good at hiding my opinions/ feelings. Said friend had arrived at a social gathering to find that I had been cornered and isolated by a known eccentric individual who wished to tell me in great detail about psychic powers and conspiracy theories.

Apparently the look on my face was something to behold.

I, of course, had no awareness of this.

It has since transpired through the testimonies of close friends and family that since childhood, I have been impossibly bad at containing my instinctive response to a less than brilliant Christmas present…

Until this point I had always considered myself to be rather diplomatic.

Only when we start actually learning typical brains…understanding that they have actually been speaking a slightly different language all this time, do we truly begin to learn how diverse our brains actually are.

Hmm, that is worthy of future consideration, but anyway…

We have a reputation for blurting things out, overstepping the line in our observations, being blind to social nuance or niceties.

But doesn’t this suggest something rather obvious?

You are getting what you see on the tin.

People with ADHD tend to be highly wired against prejudice, discrimination, and any kind of injustice. We feel it instinctively in our bones.

And we were probably fighting for the underdog even before we realised that we were one.

We don’t like people being fooled or taken advantage of, and we don’t like intentions not to be clearly stated, because it confuses our brains.

Social subterfuge and game playing are anathema to us.

If we are unmasked, what we put forward is uncurated.

Our big reactions, our emotions, our indignation, our inappropriate humour. It isn’t filtered first – it’s expressed in the same undiluted form as it left the brain, and is therefore 100% pure genuine US.

Our lack of communication filters can make us seem child-like sometimes, but we are heartfelt, we are genuine.

This lack of filters also comes into play with emotions (See Iceberg! Dead ahead! Surviving the scary ocean of neurodiverse emotions ) and it means that we can be uniquely receptive and responsive to the needs of others.

We feel others hurt quite deeply, can sense atmospheres or tensions in a room, and because we never switch off our busy brains or our empathy antennae, we are constantly trying to fix other peoples problems as well as our own.

Other people may not always want our input (and sometimes we find it difficult not to give it) but on the flip side, because we can be less inhibited and filtered, sometimes we end up spending hours helping a stranger, or going miles out of our way or off the beaten path to help a friend.

Sometimes we are able to offer more of ourselves to others, deeper feeling, deeper insight and deeper connection. We might tire ourselves out in the process, but we often do it willingly and joyfully.

The fact that we have such a genuine unmitigated desire and ability to make others happy is something to celebrate and be proud of.

Our ADHD senses are extraordinary…

People with ADHD are receptive, intuitive, sensitive, which can cause us many difficulties.

But when we feel joy, it vibrates through us with beast-like power.

Those same permeable senses that have heightened the impact of the feeling, together with our open, unfiltered manners, mean that those same good feelings are spilling around us everywhere we go in almost tangible waves.

We exude our joy, and can give out a golden glow of infectious good feeling to those around us.

4. Humour – People with ADHD have the most joyful and child-like sense of humour

Has anyone noticed the influx of comedians being newly diagnosed with ADHD?

(In a pyramid selling scheme, as Sara Pascoe points out)

Coincidence? Methinks not.

Jumping ADHD brains go to funny places. They make random links and connections and they do this quickly, instinctively and wittily.

Very often quite accidentally.

Our “otherness” makes us see life through a different lens, and we positively revel in its eccentricities, quirks, loop-holes and lurid details.

Feeling on the fringe gives us a need, and a licence to unravel the peculiarities of everyday life, and of people, and our inhibitions and boundaries tend to be infinitely more flexible.

Our ever travelling brains will actively be seeking humour on their synaptic leaps into the unknown. They understand instinctively that it functions as an effective escape route – a safety valve when lifes pressures are building to unsafe levels.

As a result of this unconscious and covert humour seeking, we are forever finding it in the most unlikely of places.

We don’t even always mean to be, but ADHD’ers are funny people.

Not only that, we usually truly delight in making people laugh, and this alone can lift our moods.

Humour and laughing heals and fortifies people- even more so with an ADHD brain…

I have talked before about our looser filters, how feelings, senses, experiences can be felt more profoundly in an ADHD brain. I have also talked about how that same level of sensitivity can work to our advantage in finding escape or refuge (See Creatures of the Senses post about nature as therapy for ADHD)

I believe those of us with ADHD are as uniquely receptive to humour as we are to music, art, nature and many other things.

Our lack of filters allow us to experience silly, funny things more like children than our peers do, with joyful uncynical abandon.

Humour gets inside us, takes us by surprise, jolts us in one fell swoop out of our chaos or dark places and fills us up with momentary joy.

In the right circumstances, a funny story, incident, or even face, can take us from gloomy to buoyant in seconds.

Our changeable moods work like a lifejacket… which brings us on to…

5. Resilience – we get knocked down, but we get up again. People with ADHD have incredible resilience – our backsides are possibly made of titanium…

This one is huge.

In our lifetimes, because of both the difficulties presented by our brain wiring, and the reactions and misunderstandings of society in general, people with ADHD have been knocked down and got back up again infinitely more times than the average person.

And the getting back up has taken exponentially more effort. We are fighting the tide, we are fighting the prejudice of others, and most of all we are fighting our own self-criticism.

It’s a Herculean effort to pick ourselves up. Often.

But we do it. We are down at the bottom of the well, looking up at the tiny circle of light, knowing its going to be a long haul, but setting off up the rope anyway. Its exhausting.

But the flip side of being knocked down to the bottom of the well, by, amongst other things, our own sensitivity, is that we know that we can reach that circle of light – we’ve done it before, against all odds.

And when we are in it, it’s brighter.

An ADHD’er may be a struggle when they have been knocked low, but when they are on form they will light up the room.

Not only will they light it up, they will feel the room, the sunlight, the joy of others, the happiness of an occasion, the inspiration of a conversation…and they will feel it ten times more strongly and more profoundly than others.

We are just better than you. (Ha! no, no, that was a joke!) Honest guv.

Resilience is built in to our very world view. Despite everything that we face in life, a person with ADHD on a good day is almost certainly the one in the room trying to look on the bright side of bad situation, trying to inveigle a positive spin from a bleak outlook.

It is not so much that we will view the glass as half full, as that we have re-invented the glass, turned the view of the glass on it’s head, and put on a pair of full spectrum goggles before assessing it.

A person with ADHD will find a way to see the glass as three-quarters full when they need to every time.

Our resilience, and ingenuity, makes us a ballast in the storm of a crisis. Our beast brains go into hyperdrive, and offer an unexpected all access pass to captainship of the ship.

When we are called upon in chaos, the force is strong within us.

What we have to offer the world isn’t orderly, but its powerful, exciting, explosive.

Lets stop beating ourselves up and start bouncing ourselves up instead.

Like gentle warriors.

Or excited puppies.

Remember that we can see humour in the strangest and darkest of places.

That we can see a different and more powerful beauty in the world.

That we can inspire and uplift others with our openness, freshness, and warmth.

That we can find strength and joy in places others can’t.

That we have tenacity, fierce hope, thirst for discovery, enormous capacity to love and unstoppable passion

That, fundamentally, for all its chaos,

We love life.

There will be a gazillion good stuffs about our brains that I haven’t mentioned here… please furnish me with further good stuffs in the comments if you have them…a good stuff only space. Happy bewildering.